I'm Going to Start Kicking People that Leave Bad Reviews

I know it's been forever since I've written. Every week, I go...ah, next week. (I was minutes away from doing that this week, but finally told myself to cut the crap.) I've been stuck somewhere between having nothing to say, being cold and just overall overwhelmed with the space.

I'm not sure I have much to write yet, but here are the things I thought about writing over the last few weeks:

1. Reviews: I'm an avid yelper and all around research junkie. I can't go anywhere without reading reviews. Most of the time this works in my favor. However, now that we're on the receiving end of reviews, I'm starting to question the entire system. Completely selfish, I know. While we have really good reviews, occasionally someone writes something that truly baffles me. I know this doesn't just happen to us. The other day I read a review for a cupcake place and someone gave them 1 star because they were closed on Mondays. Please keep in mind that the business has always been closed on Mondays. This person didn't even have the cupcakes! Not ever! Madness.

I came across this article the other day and every time I read it (I'm up to 4 reads now) I erupt into laughter. I feel like it offers a certain amount of justice for those on the receiving end of arbitrary reviews. Here's a snippet: 

First off, a lot of you said that you felt uncomfortable reading “Creative-Writing Beatdown,” because it was, in your words, “clearly autobiographical.” This could not be further from the truth. Yes, the main character and I have the same name, and, yes, both he and I are in a creative-writing class, and, YES, we both have received some very harsh criticism from our creative-writing classmates. But that’s where the parallels end. “Creative-Writing Beatdown” is purely a work of fiction, and not at all based on the events of my life. It is a simple redemption tale, featuring a classic anti-hero.

I suppose that I should address the fact that the protagonist’s classmates in “Creative-Writing Beatdown” all have the same names as you. A lot of you were upset by that, but I assure you that it was entirely coincidental. I guess when I was coming up with names for the people in the fictional creative-writing class, I subconsciously drew from my experience in this creative-writing class.

2. Pisces Support Group: If you're reading this and you're a Pisces, this makes complete sense to you. If you're reading this and you're not a Pisces, you probably think I'm being facetious (this might not be the right word, but I didn't think cynical or sarcastic worked either), but I assure you I am not. I've had this idea for over a year now. Every time I meet another Pisces, this starts to make more and more sense. Let me know if anyone out there is interested. As my fellow Pisceans knows, this has a good chance of being really awesome, but yet only happening once as I drift off to some new exciting project.

3. Bottomless Mimosas are the Devil: I've loved brunch since I can remember. It's the perfect combination of laziness, day drinking, food and friends. Bottomless mimosas were endless cherries being tossed in the air like confetti. That was all a pleasant memory until I decided to open a space. I'm now forever jaded by this evil construct designed to kill the souls of hospitality professionals. Ok, maybe not all of that, but you get my point. However, I understand why you still love it and who am I to steal your joy? My compromise for brunch is punch bowls. Besides being rhythmically cool (Brunch Punch), this allows you to get excess and quality while we stay sane. 

4. Studio No. 7 Should Feel Like a Studio: I've recently hired a new manager. She's doing an awesome job. I finally have the time to spend time coming up with wacky ideas and carrying them out in the space. More details coming soon.